Our past experiences colour how we react

“I was recently asked to write about what’s meaningful to me about my work. I thought my response might shed some light on the paradigm that I teach. Any questions, as always, please reach out.

What’s meaningful to me? Teaching others (or better yet, reminding others) that, in principle, nothing or no one can make them feel a certain way. Their feelings come from inside of them—from their thinking. Why is this meaningful? Because understanding that your feelings come from the ebbs and flows of your thinking is the difference between living at the mercy of circumstance, and knowing that when you feel insecure or confused your mind will automatically self-correct back to clarity—no matter the circumstance.

The fact is that 99 percent of us are walking through life believing that a person’s experience (what happens to him or her) is the source of the person’s state of mind. But the opposite is true: One’s state of mind is the source of his or her experience. If you want proof of this natural phenomenon, simply consider a time when you fretted about something, then you became distracted and turned your attention elsewhere, but then returned to the same circumstance and wondered, “What in the world was I worried about, this is a piece of cake.” The circumstance didn’t change. Your thinking and mindset did, and so did your outlook.

What’s more, when you grasp that you live in the feeling of your thinking, not in the feeling of life events, you won’t make the mistake of looking outside for excuses when you do struggle. Nor will you look outside for cures in endless therapy sessions, prescription drugs, or illicit behavior. Every problem known to mankind is rooted in someone’s belief that the outside world is responsible for his or her inner feelings. Human beings create their troubles via their own thinking—not from their past, environment, political affiliation, failures, neighbors, or spouse.

This, by the way, is not to say that you should ever try to fix your thinking. Not at all. Merely consider that you live in a thought-based reality (not a circumstance-based reality), keep living, and your mind will find a fresh perspective about any topic on its own.

Remember: Like your body is designed to regulate to a core temperature of 98.6, your mind is designed to regulate to clarity—freedom, understanding, determination, and love will then follow. The next time you feel down, again, don’t look outside for reasons or fixes. Doing so thwarts your innate ability to find answers. Rather, look inward to the value of your thinking at that moment. What’s meaningful to me is you knowing that your feelings only come from there.”

— Garret Kramer

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports and the author of Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life, and the upcoming book, The Path of No Resistance: Why Overcoming is Simpler than You Think.

We like to think we are rationale human beings, we are not, we are anything but rationale.

How we react to a situation is entirely coloured by what we have experienced before. If we have negative thoughts in our mind, we react negatively.


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